My One Weekly Moment of Joy at Work CRUSHED

By Tresckow

As I've probably subtly written at one point or another, I work with the collective. Morale is a thing of the past. And, for the most part, the powers that be are OK with that. Of course, I'm just speaking from my own personal view point and observations. But, when you start seeing employees quietly sobbing in their offices or make hangman's nooses during their breaks, something's up.

This is the new power tie.

There are those that do their best to make work life bearable. I can't fault this group of office saints that attempt to alleviate the pain but throwing a birthday party with cake, or celebrate the first day of Spring with cake, or throw a shindig for someone's engagement... with cake. Cake.

Not everything revolves around cake (although it should).

Once in a while, a staff member with some semblance of authority will pull together a golf outing or ping pong tournament. I have little use for either. I tried ping pong once and couldn't contend with competition; who was obviously on performance enhancing drugs. I suck at golf, but the part where you can drink on the green keeps bringing me back. But, the one event I look forward to, despite the fact that I never win, is our Trivial Pursuit tournament.

Shut up! Don't judge me!

Let me explain something. I hate games. I mean I hate games like the Polish hated the Nazis in '42. I think they are a complete, irrelevant waste of time; pointless. If board games had a face, I would shove it in the sheet cake shown above. I would. Don't tempt me, damn it. But, for some reason, I keep coming back for these Trivial Pursuit tournaments. I've never won. Ever. In fact, the whole thing pisses me off to no end. It's totally random and you are the victim of the douchbaggery of Chance.

Chance hates us all.

But, despite whatever team I'm on, I never win the coveted Trivial Pursuit Championship trophy (damn it). I keep coming back. It ended up being the one hour a week I could spend in the office without suppressing the urge to set fire to it. Plus, the chances for my team this year actually look good. So, I'm actually psyched about it this time around.

You didn't think this had a happy ending did you?

Naturally, in order to keep morale low, someone scheduled a meeting right over Trivial Pursuit. Oh, did I mention that this was my lunch hour? No? All these little "don't kill yourself, work better" activities take place over lunch as to not interfere with normal work hours. That works most of the time. Until someone schedules a meeting right over your lunch hour. What's that I hear? Screeching brakes? Ah yes, that the fun bus coming to a complete friggin stop.

Is it too much to ask NOT to be totally immersed in a pool of interoffice work bullshit? Can't we continue to spin our wheels at a time OTHER than my lunch hour? I'm sure we could reach indecision later in the day? DAMN IT!

Now, don't get me wrong. I am grateful that I have a job in this turbulent economic environment. Of course, that could change too. Nothing is for certain. The phrase"re-allocating resources"is being thrown around way too much. I'd bet my pitiful tax refund (when I eventually file a return) that there will be people re-allocated right out the door. Shouldn't they, at least, get the chance to play Trivial Pursuit before they get kicked to the curb?