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Tresckow

Hey, Earth Day: Being Aware Isn't As Good As Giving A Shit

By Roode

Earth Day. This is the day I'm supposed to prance around wearing shorts made of hemp and make out with trees. Right? No? No, wait, that's Arbor Day.

We must appreciate trees. Mankind needs something to slash and burn.

According to the soon to be sentient Wikipedia (laugh, but it will be an event of SkyNet proportions) Earth Day is:

... a day designed to inspire awareness and appreciation for the Earth's environment.

Frankly, I'm not sure how we couldn't be "aware" of the Earth's environment. It slaps us in the face every minute of every day. Driving to the store: environment. Cutting the grass: environment. Smoking a cigar while burning a pile of bald tires: environment.

What? Is burning used tires a bad thing now?

The other part of the definition is "appreciation." That's not going to happen. Sorry, but appreciating something more than internet porn and schlitz with today's society is too tall an order. The most recent generation doesn't appreciate the gut-wrenching bullshit previous generations went through to ensure they can act like pretentious emo pricks. Little things like abolish slavery, win World War II, the Civil Rights movement, and the Industrial Revolution. We're in the era of "Gimme Now, Gimme Fast." For shit's sake, kids, today, don't know where the goddamn milk they put in the mochiatos comes from!

More mysterious than Bigfoot and less exciting than Game Stop.

Hey, I'm AWARE that grain alcohol will make me go blind. I just don't CARE. Awareness, from cancer to butt crack exposure, doesn't accomplish shit. Great! Now people are aware that the environment exists and taking a dump in someone's well water is a bad thing. So, what now? Being "aware" is more useless than having Ellen Degenerous judging on American Idol.

Seriously, was Gallagher busy?

The trick is to get people to give a shit. I'm not talking about giving a shit on the same level as Ed Begley Jr. or the environmental equivalent to the Irish Republican Army, Greenpeace. There is a line between giving a shit and being an outright annoying and insufferable asshole. Especially when it seems like the biggest advocates are full of crap. We're looking at you, Al Gore.

Sure, this guy is AWARE he's taking a nap on the train tracks. He just doesn't care.

The preachers of green doctrine want us to believe that the individual has the power to reverse global warming, heal the rain forests, and re-freeze glaciers.

This poor bastard got a head full of that doctrine. It got him an indescribable tank tread crushing .

Get ready, here it comes; I'm going to rain all over your environmental circle jerk parade.

Seek shelter, because this mother fucker is gonna pour!

I recycle, because my wife is annoyingly saintly. As a single man, it was perfectly acceptable for me to use my apartment as a land fill/future archaeological artifact pit. Most people won't recycle unless they legally have to. In areas without mandatory recycling, people seem pretty content mixing their plastics with used condoms and broken dreams.

Above: Your plans to be a doctor and
Pabst Blue Ribbon fueled disappointment.

Take a look at your local airport next time you're being pissed on by an airline. Most will have recycling bins next to regular old trash cans. People chuck their plastic bottles and paper in the trash can. The recycling bin is literally 1 inch away, but they STILL dump their recyclable shit in the refuse. Why? Because mankind is a species of lazy and thoughtless fuckers. Alright, MOST of mankind is a species of lazy and thoughtless fuckers. A healthy portion is just plain rock stupid. Even with step by step instructions, colorful maps, and cheerful muppets some people are still confused about the whole brown glass vs. clear glass deal.

Even Oscar the Grouch is feeling pressure from the green movement and he's pissed about it.

You can completely green-out, reusing bacon fat and building a Rube Goldberg machine to separate your plastics from your used toilet paper. There is absolutely no guarantee that smelly mess you so painstakingly separated will make it to a recycling plant, let alone not be exported to a third world country with a healthy helping of medical waste. Take this epic bullshit play a couple of British recycling contractors [allegedly] pulled on Brazil. Worldwide Biorecyclables Ltd and UK Multiplas Ltd are accused of being liberal with their definition of plastic recyclables. In an alleged international act of douche-baggery, the companies threw in bags of blood and dirty syringes to round out the shipment. Hey, a little bit of medical waste never hurt anyone.

Oh, yeah.

Back to the "awareness" vs. "giving a shit" issue. There is no contest. "giving a shit" is the only savior the green movement has. Look at this way: the U.S. was quite "aware" that the Japanese bombed the shit out of Pearl Harbor. If this country stopped with "awareness" Hawaii would belong to the Japanese today. Standing around the shipyard pointing as you mumble to your adjutant, "I am aware the Arizona is sinking and there are tons of men trapped," won't really help the situation "Why, yes commander, we are aware Japan has kicked us in the nuts and declared war." See how being "aware" absolutely didn't do a fucking thing? You know what did? "Giving a shit."

"I'm aware that another ship full of sailors over there has just sunk."

"Giving a shit" isn't content to point its fingers around and count the damage. "Giving a shit" wants, no, DEMANDS we get off our asses and do something about it. While that "awareness" pussy is sulking on the dock, aware that another cruiser is on fire and sinking faster than a fat chick from a Tru TV reality show in a tub of fudge,"give a shit" said, "Mother fucker! Find out what's going on, who did it, and their home addresses. Let all of us work as one to a common goal. We will be strong in out unity and resolve!"

See what giving a shit gets you? Flaming hot, radioactive JUSTICE!

No, man. "Give a shit" needs more. Don't get me wrong. To "give a shit" you have to, first, become aware of the situation. Then you move the fuck on to constructive action. If your first urge after absorbing the Earth Day doctrine is to show up with a bunch of sandal wearing, hairy, slacked jawed, wannabe hippies toting signs, then my friend, you are part of the problem. FWTC can't help you.

No, sir. We wash our hands of it.

Continuously bitching while holding signs and throwing environmentally friendly red paint on people to raise their awareness of animal abuse and shouting "You're murders!" isn't a way to make friends. It's no where near the way to garner support for your cause. Especially if it's during a thousand man BIKER RALLY. You, my hippie friend, will not accomplish jack. I mean other than getting your asses handed to you over and over again or being duct taped to the bitch seat of a biker's ride, because his old lady couldn't make it and you're "close enough." Ask this group what it got them.

People are aware this dude is taped to that tree. They just don't give a shit.

Instead of regrouping and examining where they went wrong in their lives, the animal rights group became whinier and more self-righteous. In addition to the above treats, the soldiers in the "war against leather" found themselves being used as urinals, duct taped in fast food dumpsters, and encased in a silvery cocoon of duct tape in a tree (They truly are the Renaissance Men of duct tape). No, this is not a segment of Sons of Anarchy. If it were, it would be one of the coolest scenes ever! Shit! I just stopped writing to give myself a high five out of the sheer awesomeness a scene like that would bring. This shit went on for real this past January at the Johnstown, PA biker rally.

Pictured: Motorcycle enthusiasts that do not take being hit with red paint well.

"But, Roode" I can hear some unwashed, meatless diet following, red paint spewing asstard say. "How can you say the individual doesn't matter? Some of the greatest events in history have happened, because of 1 person."

First of all, shut the fuck up. I don't even know you, but I can smell you over the interwebs. For the rest of you, NO. Individuals haven't made a shit sack worth of difference. On their own, that is. Caesar didn't change ancient Rome by himself. He had an ass kicking, ball busting army to help. Harriet Beecher Stowe may have written one hell of a tome about the injustice of slavery, but it was a shitload of individuals that fought against it and, finally, a government that had to outlaw it. Lincoln may have wanted to outlaw slavery in the second half of your Civil War, but if he was the only one, his ass wouldn't have been elected in the first place.

"What? I'm the ONLY one that thinks slavery is a bad idea? Fine, let's just go back to killing Indians."

Not only does one person have to give a shit, tens of thousands have to. Finally, enough people will give a shit that the government HAS to take notice. This is the tricky part. The government can be "aware" of things until the sun turns into a bran muffin. They need to give a shit too or at least pretend for re-election. Or, in the case of the American Revolutionary War, get tossed out and replaced by a government that makes "give a shit" their motto (well, for 80 years or so). See? Giving a shit is a lot harder than it looks.

Let's face it, giving a shit requires too much energy for most people. It's a lot easier to bitch and moan while holding a protest line in front of a Carl's Jr. You just stand there, chant ridiculous rhyming tag lines, and endure the police beatings that follow. So, you protesters and activists can go back to your display of awareness and hand holding. Maybe I'm wrong about all of this. I'm sure the Earth will be just fine for future generations with awareness, alone.

Oh.

Sincerely,
Roode

Mailbag: Roode Pretends to Care About Reader Mail

By Roode

Damn it! Why the fuck do we have to acknowledge that there are people reading this shit? When I was brought on board, it was explicitly promised that no one was reading this wblog (no, that's not a typo). Tresckow is calling FWTC a "wblog". You know; website + blog = bullshit buzz word.

Ohhhhh hold on! Here comes another FRESH wblog!! With pieces of grass?

Ren, Adel, and I went in circles to see who was going to address this round of reader mail. Tresckow is out of the running, since he put on his big boy undies last year and waged war with your email. So, I guess this is the point when 'ol Roode gets all behind the scenes and answers each one of your letters to show you the inner workings of FWTC. That shit isn't going to happen. I've avoided this for the better part of a week. Adel provided me with print outs of your mail. I promptly threw them into the toilet. Here's a little known fact: large amounts of printer paper WILL kill a crapper. The fix it dude had to make the trek to our place so he could fish out half of the emails that were stuck in the plumbing. It wasn't pretty.

"Man, what kind of asshole would jam printer paper in a toilet,
then flush over and over, THEN hit it with a hammer?"

From: SillyJilly11
"Do you really think any of this is funny? It's childish and sad."

Fuck you.

From: Gillybit
"I've noticed a lot fewer hate letters to FOX. Did Roode give up?"

The short answer is that I just don't give a shit anymore. Terminator and Dollhouse were canceled, regardless of ratings. TSCC had a shit pile more ratings than Dollhouse, but the colon suckers at FOX went with the cheaper product, then fucking canceled it within two months. It's exhausting to chastise a major network as much as I do. As long as Sons of Anarchy live, I'll delay my murderous rampage for another television season.

Try me, FX. I fucking dare you.

From: Dillhef.pog
"Are we going to be treated to another Saint Patrick's day rant?"

What is that, sarcasm? I can't tell. Just in case it is sarcasm, eat shit then punch yourself in the nuts. If it isn't, then punch someone else in the nuts. Either way, I have no idea. I'm guessing Ren, our resident Mick, will handle that. It's a day of fist fights, alcohol poisoning, and rekindling a decades long hatred of the British. That's all up Ren's alley. She's a fucking alcoholic. And that means something coming from someone who drank a combination of sour mash and Listerine.

Mmmmm. Minty with the slight taste of blindness.

From: Tyrell
"How can I send in a story to you?"

Well, Tyrell, we usually frown on random submissions, but I'll give you the inside dirt.

1. Print out your submission and seal it in a brown envelop. It has to be brown.
2. Go to your nearest Home Depot and slip the envelop under one of the display toilets in the plumbing section. Do NOT substitute a Lowe's. Repeat: Do NOT substitute a Lowe's!
3. Before you leave mark the drop toilet by writing "I.P. Freely" on the lid in permanent marker.
   
4. Go outside and ask a random elderly woman if she would like to take it in the pooper while gyrating your hips.
5. Send us an email from jail and let us know how it all turned out.

From: Nos
"What's wrong with your site? The pics in some of the articles are gone."

Shit happens. Don't care.

From: Taquilfd
"Is any of what Ren wrote about her Canadian thing true?"

Canadian thing? The ill advised trip of whiskey fueled chicanery to Alberta? Or are you referring to one of her lady parts being Canadian? I know nothing about the latter. But, the whole article was true. She even left some of the more unbelievable stuff out. Maybe someday Ren will tell you about how she got out of being charged with lewd behavior with even lewder behavior. Here's a hint, it involves lap dancing and a riding crop.

Ren still gets emails from that guard.

From: Calweego
"This is just a shitty rip off of Cracked."

That's not a fucking question fucktard. This is what we call a declarative statement. "Is this a shitty rip off of Cracked" is a question. Just like, "Would you like it if I found you and stuffed your ass with hot coals?" Or, "Did you know your girlfriend was boned by the entire roster of the San Diego Chargers?" Here's a particular favorite of mine, "Do you know what being castrated with a spoon feels like?" Now, those are questions!

And, yeah, we're pretty much a shitty Cracked rip off. We're just a shit load poorer and have less exposure.

From: Tatargus
"Why are you guys so hard on Michael Jackson? He was the world's best performer!"

Dude, it's not the fact we're hard on MJ. It's the fact that we're pretty sure MJ was hard on kids. In the biblical sense.

From: Kourtican
"What's the obsession with Billy Mays?"

Seriously? You're kidding, right? No! You're serious! Billy Mays was and always shall be a credit to the species. The world died a little when he was called to that big direct shopping infomercial in the sky. To this day I wander around stores not sure what will clean my windshield or how I can talk on my cell while I drive recklessly at speeds not easily attainable by a Plymouth Duster. Simply put, Billy Mays IS ALL THAT IS MAN!

And we like his beard.

From: Pizoo kola
"I am offended by your constant use of the word 'retard.'" It's insensitive and downright rude."

How can I put this?

Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard Retard.

From: Dalton
"Is Ren cute? She sounds like she would be cute."

Cute? I don't know. She's just something we came up with to scare children like pop quizzes and Jack the Ripper.

From: BVlnk
"So what, is everyone there related or something?"

So, no. Does it matter? Who gives a shit? Out of the four of us, three are related in some way or another. I, Roode, maintain my own company; like a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. Because, I'm wanted. Dead or Ali.. FUCK! I knew that bullshit generic rock station I listened to this morning was going to come back to haunt me!

Fuck you, Bon Jovi.

From: AmberlyThrower
"網路交友18禁地航海王影片ㄇ美女圖片情慾免費情色電影台灣美女寫真貼圖區色情聊天室性愛情666avcom免費下載18禁小說一夜聊天室人之初貼圖後宮電影院入口成人情色歐美素圖qqav性愛姿勢a片直播a圖a片美女桌布"

Yes? No? What is the capital of Nebraska? What about this site has ever lead you to believe ANY of the columnists speak anything but broken English?

From: Barlow
"Roode seems to hate spending time with his family. What's his deal?"

What's my deal? Probably seething hatred. I kid. I don't hate my family. Not all of them, any way. I dislike the idea of liking them. Go to hell!

From: Kotterly
"Did anyone get arrested at Adel's wedding?"

No, although I'm pretty sure there were a few deportations.

From: Pasquall
"Is it OK to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey with bread crumbs before I put it in the oven?"

According to this site :

Most turkeys are too large for the internal temperature of the bird to reach sufficient temperatures quickly enough to kill bacteria present in stuffing which has been refrigerated. For this reason, you should plan to prepare the stuffing separately.

For more information about preparing food safely, visit the USDA's safe food handling website.

*Author's note: Why the fuck would anyone send us a question about preparing a Thanksgiving turkey?

Sincerely,
Roode

A Canadian on the 2010 Winter Olympics: AKA Televised Suck

By Roode

So there I am, sitting around drinking and giving children the finger when I get this directive from Tresckow to “Make an article about the Olympics happen.” First off, fuck off. Head writer my ass. You’re not the boss of me; throwing out writing assignments like this is a paying job. I don’t remember getting a pay check or health benefits from this column. No, the only perks from this shit-packed bLOG is that I get to tell women I’m a writer. Sure, that line falls apart either when they figure out it’s for a half assed comedy site or when my wife shows up. Come on, baby, that 70 year old Wal-Mart greeter was hitting on ME.

Secondly, I was going to write an article about the friggin Olympics, anyway. I didn’t need a directive. I’m a fucking writing genius. This brain doesn’t stop! That’s right; mother fucker is always a buzz with literary gold. When people talk about Tresckow’s writing, the conversation is peppered with words like, “hack” and “rhombus.” When the people discuss the literary masterpieces cranked out by me, they use words like “Outstanding,” “Brilliant,” and “police blotter.” I don’t know why they say that last one. I’ve never been in the police blotter. Not by name, anyway.

I never go out without putting this over my face.

Alright, fine. I’ll write an article about the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. Whatever. It’s probably because I’m the only Canadian on staff at the FWTC. I see how it is. Ren’s fucking Irish. I don’t see her writing about bullshit stereotypical Irish fucktardedry.

Shit. That’s a really bad example.

That brings up a good point. I’m Canadian, sure. But, I couldn’t give half a shit pail about the fucking Winter Olympics. Ooooooooooooooo, it’s in Vancouver! Finally, something relevant is happening in Canada. And Western Canada at that. It, obviously, has nothing to do with the CFL. No one gives a flying fuck about that.

The Canadian Football League: Redefining suck since 1903

The wife has been out of town on a “girls’ weekend trip.” I don’t even know what that means. It either has something to do with tampons or many hot, naked games of Twister. Jesus, I have to cut back on the girl on girl porn.

Yeah, that's never going to happen.

While left to my own devices, nothing ends well. I don’t know how to live by myself, anymore. More importantly, I don’t know how to cook for myself. My time alone usually consists of Dunkin Donuts, cheap pizza, and beer. So, while I’m eating a meal of jelly donut and Sam Adams stew, I’m usually in front of the TV. Like, Ren, I get bored to the point where I randomly flip around the channels. I stopped on NBC to check out the Olympics. What a clusterfuck.

I find this brand of sport a lot more entertaining. Side note: Idaho is the perfect venue for this.

How the hell is anyone supposed to fake excitement during the entire opening ceremony? That fucker is like ten hours long. Every country has to do their little “notice me” walk; no matter how small. You have athletic armies from the US, China, and Russia parading around like they just invaded British Columbia. Then, at the opposite side of the spectrum, there are the nations that had to take up a collection to send one guy to Vancouver. Some poor son-of-a-bitch from a country the size of Deadwood is wandering around holding a laser print out of his country’s flag, trying to pretend he’s a team of 100. Way to crush someone’s ego Olympic committee. You guys are sadistic fucks.

"No, man. I'm it. I'm Ed. Djibouti wants me to just stand here for them.

When the fuck did China start sending half its population to these things? Seriously, Ottawa needs to worry about this. With the centuries of abuse the Western provinces have dealt out to Chinese immigrants (like this and this), Canada's hands are dirtier than most Americans think. You think our history contains dealing with snow, having Mother England wipe our asses, and an obsession with ham.

This just may be a trap. One day the maple leaf is flying high over the Premier’s office. The next day it will be one of these mothers flapping in the breeze!

Drink it in, fellow Canadians. There's not even a hammer and sickle on this thing. There's not ONE Maple leaf, either. That's insane!

Who do you think is going to help us with that mess? The United States? No. China owns half your debt. Britain? Keep dreaming. All of a sudden the Brits will pretend to only be a friend of a friend. Hey, fuckers, we have pictures of the Queen on our money. I sure as fuck don’t like that, but it should be worth a few SAS troops.

But, this is probably all the UK would send.

I’ve come to the conclusion that winter sports suck a galactic amount of frozen shaft. Hey, look! Skiing! Look! Ice skating! Ooooo, more fucking skiing. Snowboarding? Isn’t that something the Scandinavian countries invented so they can pretend to surf? The luge? That’s skiing/skating inside a soap box racer. Wait, more skiing? Speed skating? Oh fuck, curling? God damn it! Why the fuck did we, as a country, have to bring that to the Olympic table? Now we’re synonymous with polishing ice really really fast in front of a slowly gliding rock. Fucking four square has more athleticism to it.

Pictured: Not one fucking curling broom and these kids should be proud of that!

Am I the only one tired of “uniforms” that show off waaaay too much (as in any) of the male athlete’s junk? You can see the hemispheric divide of their ass cheeks every time they bend over. Stop it! The fucking luge is basically watching some dude and his vacuumed sealed twig and berries sliding down an icy chute. Why the fuck does the camera man insist on zooming in on the junk bulge? That’s bullshit!

Stupid sexy Flanders!

On the other hand, I have no complaints, whatsoever; about the tight, streamlined uniforms the women wear. I’m thinking of getting one for my wife… and her sisters.. And with that last sentence, I have earned myself a Rochambeau. But, that won't happen until she reads this.

I'm totally OK with Lindsey Vonn wearing a snug, tight, aerodynamic suit while she competes. Material clinging to every sumptuous curve...

She can wear anything she wants.

ANYTHING!

Now, whether or not I’m watching NBC, all I see is commercials with pseudo Olympic celebrities. Hey, Vicks , your daytime shit doesn’t work. Go ahead and use Apollo Ono in an attempt to sucker us into believing DayQuil miraculously cures him before a big sliding on ice as fast as he can event. If he’s taking anything, it’s not over the counter. I’m not insinuating anything [Read: avoiding lawsuit]. I’m just citing the long and sorted accusations thrown at professional sports, everywhere (cough, cough, baseball). Besides, who the fuck names a little white kid Apollo? With a name like that, you better either be a fucking Greek god or a large black boxer from the 70’s.

Suck it, Ono.

If these fuckers are so wonderful, how come most of us never hear of them between Olympics? You’re telling me that there isn’t a call for year-round double luge events?

There's no way to watch this and not feel awkward.

Sure, figure skating can be found just about anywhere any time of the year. It doesn’t make it any less gay. If you weren’t bombarded with relentless commercials and news about these snow and ice shufflers would you be able to name three? Don’t lie. You know you couldn’t. If you can, then welcome to the sequined leotard sporting equivalent of World of Warcraft.

Sassy!

Incidentally, I have the urge to wrap my head in duct tape to prevent it from exploding every time I hear a Canadian competitor say “It’s great to be here in Canada.” Asshat, you fucking LIVE in Canada. Guess where you’re going to be after the games? Canada! “It’s great to be in Vancouver?” No it’s not, you fucking liar. Outside of Da Vinci’s Inquest, Vancouver has nothing to offer aside closed circuit television cameras to spy on the populous and a strong prostitution trade.

Yeah, I stole the "Wrap my head in duct tape" line from Glenn Beck. It's the only useful thing I’ve ever gotten from him.

Editor's Note: While searching for images of "duct taped heads" the research department kept running across pics of the cat that was duct taped in Philadelphia last September. Nothing would please FWTC more than to find the sick fucker that did this and duct tape his balls (you know it has to be a dumbshit teen aged guy). Do two wrongs make a right? Yes, yes they do.

Perhaps the most annoying thing about the Olympics is the fact that they’re being held in Canada. I don’t know if it has the same affect in other countries (haven’t noticed it in the US), but for some shit grinning reason, you people can’t pass a Canadian without saying something like, “How ‘bout those winter games?” What? Why? Oh, I get it, it’s because it’s all about skiing and hockey, right? Presumably, the Olympics are the only thing Canadians have to look forward to. OK, the second statement may be true. It’s fucking Canada. But, guess what, not every fucking Canadian gives a beaver’s ass about this shit. I’m Canadian, but I also have US citizenship. That means, I have the athletic skills to compete in snow-based sports, but I’d rather drink and watch Sons of Anarchy.

I had a bet with Ren that I could work SOA into this article, somehow. I win, you blond elf. You owe me a twenty.

I would have found a way to drop SOA into the article. I have a thing for Maggie Siff.

Sincerely,
Roode