Arizona, why do you think you're better than the rest of us?

By Tresckow

Just who in the hell do you think you are, Arizona? Really? You are too good to abide by daylight savings time? You pompous ass slappers!

Are you too good to fall in line with the rest of the US? Is being Arizona that fucking wonderful? BULLSHIT! You sons-a-bitches think you can flagrantly throw away tradition and "be your own state."

OK, screw tradition. How about practicality? How about providing an atmosphere of clarity? How about fucking admitting you are in the Mountain time zone? You basically pick your shitty angry Apache ridden, sand encrusted state up every spring and moved it exactly one time zone to the West. So for over half the year you sand humpers pretend to be a West coast state. The rest of us in the good 'ol USA have to do friggin math..no wait..MORE friggin math in order to figure out what time zone you are this week. Last time I checked you sun burned canyon jockeys were UNDER UTAH. Utah is in the Mountain time zone. What's the matter? You don't want to be like Utah?

OK, I'll give you this; daylight savings time is a crock of day old poo. And not just any crock. One of those fine crocks with a digital display you get from JC Penney. It's sort of like why families put out that God awful, ancient Christmas lawn decorations. No one really remembers why they do it. It's just something that's always been done. They can't go a year without setting up that plastic Santa with his jolly 'ol red pants around his ankles in the front yard. Yeah yeah…it was done to accommodate the farmers and give them one more hour of daylight to harvest with. Yeah, I get that. We're mechanized now, jackholes! But, I digress.

I'll lay it out on the line you "Four Corners" cornholes. If you're not with us, you're against us. The last time a state made such a bold statement was when Georgia left the Union waaaaay back in 1861. Is that it? Is that your game? You secessionist fucks. I'm just saying it's been too long since we've used the army to invade one of our own states.