Am I dating yet?

By Adel

Are you bloody shitting me? Seriously? Someone actually had the bloody bollocks to ask me if I'm dating yet. I cannot begin to convey the level of fucking aggravation this question brings forth in me.

Of course, as with most of life's dumb ass moments, this occurred online. After I put Colin to bed I decided to go to my office and muddle around with some work. The holidays were fine, but I won't lie and say that I was buzzing with glee. I was feeling rather shiftless so I thought doing some work would at least help keep my mind occupied. I normally have my instant messenger on while I'm at the computer. A message pops up from someone I don't know. No worries. I answered it. He seemed like a good enough bloke (as far as internet guys go). Apparently he read my My Space page and put together that I am a widow. He asked for how long. I answered. His next question just made my jaw drop.

"Are you dating yet?" I'm sorry. It looked like you asked me if I was dating yet. I must be wrong. My poor eyes are tired and I must be bloody seeing things. No. That's what he asked. "Are you dating yet?" No, you buggery ass jockey, I am not dating yet. Why would anyone ask a widow that question? What would possess someone to ask a person who recently lost their spouse if they are dating yet? Are you fucking mad?

I had to ask if he was serious. Of course he said "yes" and proceeded to tell me that the typical "grieving" period for a lost spouse is a year. What in the bloody red piss are you talking about? Not only are you asking if I am dating yet you are telling me when I can expect to hit the dating scene.

I don't let this sort of nonsense bug me, typically. This just struck a chord in me. I don't talk about this much to anyone. I'm a private person by nature. I appreciate all the kind words and well wishes. But holy flaming shit. There are some things you don't ask. What was going through his mind? How big are his balls to ask such a question. In the past five months I've had various people preach to me that I will move on.... it's all part of the process... it will take time... I can't be sad forever... and so on and so forth. Fuck you!

You don't bloody know what I'm going through. Even if you had a similar experience you don't know what MY experience is like. Piss off. Do these people think these are words of encouragement? Or are they just trying to rile me? Really, when is it a good time to tell a widow that she will find someone else? Shut the fuck up, wanker. Mind your own bloody business.

I know that this is, by definition, going against my privacy policy. But, this really pisses me off. I don't get cross at my son because of other things in my life and I don't drink anymore. I have to vent somehow. I think I have to break something now.

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When not attempting to write for The Fuse Was Too Cold, Adel can be found mentally abusing college students on weekdays and threatening sales clerks on weekends.

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